People always want to know when they are going to meet their soul mate, if this is true love or if they are in a relationship, how they can enhance the intimacy, communication, and passion they already have with that particular partner. Have you ever wondered whether you are involved with a healthy love or an addictive love in your life? Do you know the difference? Love is “life openly and vigorously expressed.” L-O-V-E. When you are in love with a person, place, or thing, you are going to want to express all that you feel, all that you see, all that you can absorb with that certain person, place, or thing. Express it, don’t hold back. The hardest, of course, is with another human being because you are afraid of being judged. If they are going to judge you, they don’t love you. If you are ill, you lack love. “I lack love.”
Do you know the difference between healthy love and addictive love? All of us have a healthy impulse to love, but our addictions take us away from genuine love. A summary of the difference between healthy love and addictive love can help each of us find the genuine love we seek and deserve. Healthy love develops after we feel secure. Addictive love tries to create love even though we feel frightened and insecure. Healthy love comes from feeling full; we overflow with love. Addictive love is always trying to fill an inner void. Healthy love begins with loving ourselves, being the lover we think we need. Addictive love tries to avoid looking at ourselves and always seeks to get love from that special someone. Healthy love is based on our ability to love and trust ourselves and enhance others. Addictive love seeks sex and romance outside, precisely because we feel empty inside and don’t trust ourselves and others. Healthy love allows us to be vulnerable because we feel secure inside, and we want to share that inner intimacy of emotions. Addictive love can be based on a shaky foundation. We may feel we must protect ourselves. Healthy love thrives on time alone, as well as time with our partner; additive love is frightened of being alone. Healthy love teaches us to value our own company. Addictive love makes us feel uncomfortable with ourselves and in need of someone else. Healthy love is gentle and kind, upset and angry, loving, and forgiving. The ebb and flow continue rather than walking away, not communicating or dealing with the true partnership.
Many people in addictive relationships contact me and tell me they are in love with their soul mate. Then I begin to examine the relationship and see whether it is one of three types of soul mate relationships. There are three different types of soul mates: the karmic, the companion, and the twin. The majority of us are in karmic relationships. Companion relationships do not include sexual relations, no physical intimacy. It can be male-male, male-female female-female; these can be lifelong or short-lived. There is usually a process, project, or something to achieve together or just be the best of friends.
Many times we reunite from a past life; we come together in this life to be the best of friends, but it doesn’t mean it is going to the love life level. As a spiritual advisor, I receive a lot of calls from people saying, “I have been such good friends with so and so for the longest time. Will he or she become my lover? Are we ever going to make it? No, the relationship doesn’t go to the next level. Some people get upset, but again it is God’s rejection. God’s projection and coincidence are God acting anonymously. We have mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional sides to ourselves. In a karmic relationship, maybe two or three out of the four attributes actually connect and are compatible. Most people settle for the karmic relationship even though there may be struggles, difficulties, negativity, barriers, obstacles, and a lack of connection with that person. That might be your addictive love again because you are trying to make something work rather than moving beyond to find what is really right for you.
A lot of people are afraid they are never going to meet their true soul mates. They settle for less, and then they end up getting divorced when they find out they have not found the right mate. If you wait long enough or get honest enough, or depending on your growth, you will find your twin. That twin is the other half of you and completes the puzzle. Mentally, physically, spiritually, you grow together, work together, live together, and love together. That person will complement your strengths and weaknesses as you will complement their strengths and weaknesses. A lot of times, their strengths are your weaknesses and vice versa to hold each other up. That is true when you are in love and can have a blissful relationship for the rest of your journey. Watch to find which relationship you are in. Is it a companion? Is it karmic? Is it your twin? When it is your twin, and it is true love, you won’t have to ask.
When you have truly met your twin, you will feel their energy wherever you are, especially when they are thinking about you. You may feel a tingle, a rush of energy, and excitement. You may think of them, and they are thinking of you and feel a telepathic connection being transmitted. Our twin can look like us, feel like us, complement us in the most sacred ways. We usually recognize their soul from another place. And, the twin is often the most difficult to secure due to the fear, anxiety, life situation in each other’s life. True love usually wins.
Often times someone will meet another, but one or both is married. Or, the feelings are very intense, and neither has the courage to admit to them. The soul mate connection is often felt and not pursued out of fear, insecurity, and fear of rejection. The fear of true love can also prevent the union between two souls who recognize the connection.
Love has many faces, forms, and realities. Finding what true love for you is is as vast as an ocean across the world. No two are exactly the same. Often, the longer you wait, the better your chances of true love, not just the one that got away. Some find true love in youth others spend a lifetime searching. Love is there for all of us, but it has to begin within ourselves. Stop looking outside to fix what is not full on the inside. The right soul mate, perhaps even the twin, will enter your world.